Shane Allison

Bussy

Everytime I block Brian on Facebook

I unblock him three or so days later. 

Its not because I feel bad,

Or think it's mean when I do it.

But the guilt I feel from the pleasure he gives

Unlike any man I have yet to find in this 

College town chock-full of a whole lot of nothing.

I mean, he's not a bad looking guy.

A buzz cut blond with blue eyes 

Who speaks slow and soft. 

I've done worse when I let my dick 

Do the choosing. 

He and I started talking after meeting on Growler

A few years back. 

Exchanging names,

Our likes in bed. 

I wasn't looking to date then,

Or a boyfriend. 

Neither was Brian who was already in a relationship

With this super chub named Chris. 

Chris and I eventually met and started talking.

I don't remember how. 

We were cool in the beginning. 

Talking and testing well into the late hours of the night.

We sent each other dick pics,

But we never did it. 

Not because he was seeing Brian,

But because he's not into black guys. 

I don't know how I found out that he and Brian

Were together. Maybe he told me at some point

Between telling me he was going back to school

To be an accountant, and his penchant for eating ass. 

I didn't know a rim job from a hand job

Until I moved to New York and got my oil changed

By two different guys on two separate occasions

At two different places. 

All this during the hey day of craigslist back

When you didn't give much thought about getting murdered. 

I could go on about German Ron and his rim chair,

But this poem isn't about him. 

I didn't know Brian was such a pig before we hooked up.

Not just in the sense that he enjoyed sniffing my ass,

And smelling my farts,

But his room was an actual sty. 

Pounds of Clothes, shoes, shirts and everything else he owned strown about his bedroom floor. 

The trailer he shared with a roommate

Smelled strong of dog shit and cat piss. 

Thinking back on it now,

I think the smell turns him on. 

I would wonder whether or not he went to work

Smelling like a dirty hamper or sweaty feet. 

I didn't much care. 

It has been a while since German Ron

And I needed to feel what it was like again. 

I dropped out of my Tshirt and shorts,

Lied naked on my belly and waited

For prying fingers,

An eager mouth. 

Brian is no Ron, but he's a solid nine on the rector.

We got up a few more times after that,

Him sneaking me into his room as if his mother was in the next room. 

The only problem with him is that he didn't enjoy blowjobs as much as rim jobs. 

He told me at some point that Chris wasn't into assplay

But only enjoyed fucking. 

I ghosted Brian after the first few times.

Deleted his number out of my phone.

I couldn't stop thinking about him though.

His piles of clothes,

The smell of dog piss and litter boxes. 

His skinny, pale white fingers parting my ass.

His blue eyed boyish face would appear on my Facebook page as someone I might know and I'd remove it. 

He would say hello to me occasionally on Growler

And I would block him only to end up unblocking.

Now here we are again. 

We've been talking all day into the night

About how we never forgot each other,

About how he loved sucking my nips and how  the gym sweat aroma of my ass would send him into a frenzy. 

Brian has since moved out of that trailer park

With the pine needle driveway. 

Has an apartment on the Eastside of town.

He told me he's still with Chris,

But their relationship is an open one. 

I could tell in his texts he wanted to meet up tonight.

He's not worth stepping out into a cold night for.

We're set to meet up this week

Where he'll sneak me past a new roommate,

Where I'll peel off my clothes,

Slide into his bed on my belly

And take whatever is coming to me.